The Power of Words

A meditation by Dick Williams
Spirit of Peace United Church of Christ
Sammamish, Washington
November 13, 2011

I began the sermon by asking the congregation members to ponder the following prompt:
"Think of something someone once said to you that you have never forgotten, but likely the person who said it to you would not remember having said it."
I asked if any in the congregation would be willing to share their reflections with those present -- several did.

I turned to the Gospel Reading, in Matthew 5.21-24 contains the following sentence: "The simple moral fact is that words kill.”

^21-22"You're familiar with the command to the ancients, 'Do not murder.' I'm telling you that anyone who is so much as angry with a brother or sister is guilty of murder. Carelessly call a brother 'idiot!' and you just might find yourself hauled into court. Thoughtlessly yell 'stupid!' at a sister and you are on the brink of hellfire. The simple moral fact is that words kill.
(Matthew 5:21-24, The Message)

Upon first reading this, the sentence struck me as quite an overstatement. I recalled something we used to say on the playground in elementary school, "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me." Now, in Matthew, Jesus is saying that words can kill. Which is it?

Then I reflected on recent tragic stories in the news about individuals, often teenagers, who had committed suicide because of horrible cyber-bulluying on their websites or FaceBooks. Indeed words can kill! Words can kill one's will to live, or on a less tragic note, they can kill one's self esteem or self-confidence. But, importantly, words can also build and enrich.

I used as an example, of the positive power of words, the final words that the late Andy Rooney used when he "signed off" finally from his last program on the CBS Program, 60 Minutes. Andy had been a regular feature on the program for many years. Each Sunday, he would present a short essay at the end of the program. In those essays he would reflect on some event or situation in modern life. Often many of his comments were humorous; some were quite serious.

In this last appearance, Andy said that many who had written him or talked to him about his work, emphasized his radio performances. But Andy said he always considered himself not as a performer, but as a writer. He said he was inspired by a teacher many, many years ago who said to him, "Andy, you are a writer." And indeed, he became a writer. He started out during WWII writing for the "Stars and Stripes." He subsequently wrote for television and he published numerous essays and several books.

Andy knew that what he was going to say at his last appearance on "60 Minutes" would attract a very large audience. CBS had announced this event on several occasions. What struck me as being relevant to this sermon, was that at this important moment at the conclusion of Andy Rooney's long career, he did not reflect on the influence of his many producers or editors or agents -- instead he referred to a comment made by a teacher, many decades ago, "Andy, you are a writer." And it changed his life. Words can build and inspire and have a profoundly positive influence.

As an example of how one who embodied the ability to use words to build and inspire, I described a friend, named Maxie, who in her life has embodied that spirit. My wife, Michele and I first met Maxie in the mid-60 when Maxie and I worked together on a research project at UCLA. She and her husband lived a few short miles away from us in Malibu, California and we were together often. Maxie celebrated her 90th Birthday in April 2011, and we traveled to California to be with her. The celebration was held in a very large hall and was attended by dozens and dozens of her friends and admirers, some of whom traveled from across the country to be with Maxie. In her career, Maxie was a wonderful researcher and writer. She published articles and books based on her work. She is also a very accomplished cook. While those attending no doubt admired Maxie's many accomplishments, what brought them together in admiration was her quality as a very good listener, and her ability to inspire confidence in all who had an opportunity to be with her. One always came away from a conversation with Maxie feeling appreciated and more confident.

Words do indeed have power--the power to kill and diminish, and the power to build and inspire. One does not have to be a CEO or a teacher, or a pastor, or a parent to have one's words matter to others. The words each of us uses, regardless of station or position, can and will have an influence on those to whom we speak. Consequently, we should all be mindful of what we say to others and strive to use this power of words in a loving spirit.